This week marks two months before I officially return to the United States. Since I have been here, the feelings of a grand distance in time and pyhsical understanding have made me wonder where I am, and what I am doing. Paris was a dream, but in a way I am back to a certain reality that I didn’t get away from.
Adjusting to any new place takes time, and for me it has been days where I cannot understand things that are spoken to me, what I interpret as strange occurances, and many miscommunicated messages, making situations awkward. At the same time, thinking and acting in two different languages poses a challenge, something that I don’t know if I have completely accomplished. Meeting people has not been what I expected either, as some have come and gone, others relations seem to stagnate, and only a few become something more. My experience with the French so far is that in many ways they are the same as most Americans…they want to be polite when meeting you, lots to talk about, etc. But the differences have me second guessing my intentions and myself at times.
My desire to learn French is really not that storng sometimes. As much as I want to learn a complicated form of expression such as language, I am frustrated by French’s complicated rules and forms. Another thought has been floating aorund my mind this week…why did I want to leave Chicago so much? Was it because of the horrific weather that burned my mind? Perhaps it was just a general malaise. Whatever the cause, I am glad that I’m starting to reevaluate my realtionship with home again. Perhaps I didn’t do all that I should have with some friends, I didn’t take all the oppurtunities that I came across.
I met my friend Rachael who I go to DePaul with today at Montparnasse. After taking the metro to Chatlet, we headed to the Marais, and had a nice brunch. She still looked in shock that she was in Paris. Seeing her here was odd for me too, since it was a familiar face in a foreign land. Also, it reminded me of how long I’ve been gone, and what it was like when I first arrived. But in general, my transition has been going well, though not in the manner that I perhaps predicted at first.
